man and woman in union

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I met my first husband after many failed shortterm relationships. I was sick of being uncomitted and of my partying/superficial lifestyle. I hoped heaven would give me the oportunity to be more comitted towards someone and so be able to build a family. I was 23, living in Zuerich, when I met my first husband. We connected instantly, both were looking for something more profound in life. From day one we spent together in union. It was intense. I had just gotten back from India. When I had close encounters with snakes on 2 occacions. I thought that these sightings were a sign that something lifechaning was going to happen in my life. Then on my first day back home in Switzerland there was a snake sunbathing on the stairs of my mother´s house! Definitely something was going to happen. Well after 2 months of union and thousands of visions, dreams and fantasies I discovered I was pregnant. The union was so strong for me, I had complete contact with my baby and knew it was a girl. I felt something overwhelmingly strong in my heart. I felt like the universes merged to create something new.
But reality hit me, when I realized that my partner did not feel ready for this step to become father and fell back on his addictions. My dream of holy union popped. I felt alone and unprotected. But my daughter gave me such an inner strength, that I was ready to fight for everything. Unfortunately I lost the battle against the substance addiction, but in the process recieved a lot of wisdom about life and it´s difficulties of being congruent and start doing what you believe in.
We had moved from Switzerland to the caribbean coast of Mexico, in search of a new life. We had three more children together. Each child came to me in dreams, I instantly knew their names and missions. Finally after eight years of battling the addiction took its toll and the relationship dissolved.
The hardest thing wasn´t loosing my partner, but my dreams and all I wanted my life to be. Our breakup, in the midst of the worst bouts of substance abuse, was very traumatic and difficult. There was definitely something that deeply connected us and that´s what made everything hurt so much. Then the children were often used as emotional shields and manipulation. We were very immature and caught up in the currents of life.
I was living alone, alone, alone, taking care of 4 children and trying to make a living. It was hard. I always wanted a big family but with a partner. God please send me someone willing to live family life with me and my 4 children. I believe very strongly. I believe in the power of love. And one day I meet my second husband, in my house! I´ll never forget his deep penetrating look. It hipnotized me and I heard him talk to my mind, that he deeply loved me. It took a while for us to get to know eachother. But when we united we really did. I got pregnant pretty fast, again a holy union. He was happy to become a father, so happy. But equally suffered from alcohol problems. I felt like I was reliving the same movie. I realized I had to change my ways. I began to focus all my energy on healing myself. It was a very difficult time for the new realtionship and we separated. I had his first son on my own. Then I felt I had to show him his son. When he was 4 months old we met again. Since then we had 2 more children. We are both working on ourselves and very close, eventough the toughest lesson was learning to give eachother space. The story continues.............

THE LIVING PROJECT

Cosmic wisdom coming alive

This blog is about my life experience as a woman, lover, partner, birthing woman, midwife and mother of seven children. I was born into this life, on june 16th 1971, in Switzerland and was named Sabrina Joy. This is my life experience, my living project here with you, sharing the same space, time and energy. Over the years I have been trying to discover my purpose and for this reason I will share my experience with you, as you will hopefully with me.